A Love Story--I think?

I want every love story to have a happy ending. Too many don't. Our understanding of love is so twisted that it takes a lot of hard work to understand how and why things must happen as they may. Think about it. Somehow we've gotten the idea that if God loves us, He wouldn't let hurricanes ripe through and devastate lives, or earthquakes kill thousands, not the God I know. Every time I hear about the latest natural disaster or yesterday's terrorist bombing or someones parental heartbreak or a good friend's diagnosis of cancer, a voice inside me whispers, "God, I know you are in control, but tell me again: You are Good?"
Maybe our twisted understanding of love boils down to this: because God is love, the abundant life that Jesus promised us means an abundance of blessings. Where did we get that idea? Certainly not from the Old Testament, which I am just finishing up reading. Jesus made it clear that life, real life--the life He died to give us, does not center on nice homes, happy families, and good health in a safe world with a booming economy. But rather on Knowing Him more, knowing Jesus' Father as our Father, in good times and in bad, and relating to that Father and everyone else the way Jesus relates. I think that is what it means to be holy. Holiness does not mean doing good things and not doing bad things. Holiness is wrapped up in consistent, relentless, love in spite of the good and the bad. So if that is what holiness is, and that is what life is really all about, then, the abundant life Jesus came to give us is an abundance not of material blessing, or of health, or protection but of an abundance of knowing God as our supreme treasure and relating to Him and to others lovingly, no matter what assortment of blessings or hardships come our way or what variety of feelings of joy, emptiness, peace, or terror, we are experiencing. After reading the Old Testament again, I realize that it is a set up for the New Testament. (some of you might be thinking daaaa) If we miss the message of the first we will miss the message of the last. Or even worse, we will pervert it or twist it and think we've got it. We will make it fit into our twisted definition of love and never be captured by the real story of love that takes our breath away. The Story that humbles us enough to change us from self-obsessed lovers of short term comfort seekers to God-obsessed lovers of others beyond any cost to ourselves.
What must needs changing is not our circumstances but the very core of who we are. Blessings in the short term are dangerous to our long-term joy. If we could use our power to make our lives work in ways that make it easy and quickly satisfying, we would become less aware than we already are of what God designed us to enjoy and pursue. We must learn to endure this life for the joy that awaits us in the next. We must learn to live in hope. True hope breeds joy and empowers love.
hmmmm what have I learned in this journey, this crimson thread running through Genesis through Malachi. In Genesis, I hear God pouring out his love to all of us as He sings this opening line of His love song: "I have a terrific plan, It's how I made you, and why I made you. You are invited into perfect relationship in this perfect world that I have created just for you." Then God shows us how we have made a perfect mess out of it. We have made serious wrong turns and are now heading away from Him and toward relational failure, loneliness, and frustration. We are more concerned to get what we want now than to trust God to give us what we need and what we most want forever. We think our approach to life is the "Christian approach". Our moral compass is so far off that we actually think we are moving in the right direction. Towards intimacy and satisfying togetherness and a joy-filled life. When actually we are heading in the wrong direction getting hopelessly far beyond His reach. We have to turn around, But we don't want to. We don't even see the need to. From Genesis on I feel God's burning anger aimed at everything that keeps us moving in the wrong direction. Something is terribly wrong inside of us that must be severely dealt with before we will even see the point of turning around. And something must change in us before we will be able to see what God is planning for us to move toward it with any real consistency. We are unholy. We have separated ourselves from God. We need to be made holy. And we need to separate ourselves for God. In Leviticus, God makes it clear that "holiness must precede true happiness" and by making us holy, getting us to turn towards Him, we will be able to relate towards others. It must be done. In Joshua we actually must "learn to hate our sin," Sin is so lodged inside of us that we assume it's just who we are, and that it is no big deal. In Judges, we learn that we have a big problem, and a stubborn one at that. God makes it clear in 1 Chronicles that until we are perfectly holy we will never be perfectly happy. We must expect to experience "emptiness now, with the promise of fullness forever." But we don't like it. We insist on our rights to immediate happiness. Since that pursuit of holiness doesn't provide us with the experience of full happiness that we so crave, we pursue our way by a different road. But we still want to see ourselves as good. We still maintain the illusion that we are still wanting and following hard after God, we think of Him as a vendor of blessings rather that a burning furnace who makes us holy. We worship the God we have created. In Ezekiel, I learned that until I recognize the evil of demanding anything from God, I will not understand how His presence will bring hope and joy and release from self-centeredness. We can stay blind, and stay on that broad road of expecting God to make our lives work. We will secure his favor and call it worship. In Amos, I learned that real worship requires real change. At this point I realize that if I am really chasing after God, if I am really worshiping God as a lifestyle, then my unholy and ugly spirit of entitlement will be slowly dislodged from its controlling place in my heart. I will sense the stirring of faith that allows me to wait in darkness with the peace of knowing the light of God's love will one day shine brightly enough for all to see.
Even now, as I face the ugliness within me that shakes my fist at God as I tell Him what to do. I can still realize and celebrate with confidence that everything ugly will be made beautiful. In Jonah, I learned how God's ways defy my self-obsessed expectations of Him, and how my unholy demand that God cooperated with my agenda by transforming me to yield more deeply to God's plan. When life makes no sense, when what God is visibly doing is more frustrating than fulfilling, He wants me to still live by faith. Even when God seems absent or worse, indifferent, He wants me to wait, to feel life deeply but not to lash out in desperation, but still believe that His plan is Good, and He is in Control. In Habakkuk I learned that He is loving me even if I don't see it. God tells me in Zephaniah that He is not committed to making me happy now with the blessings of life. I do believe, but I don't always like what I believe. Haggai follows up by reassuring me that God has the power to make me holy. To stir a passion within me that wants to bring Him pleasure, a holy passion that can successfully compete with my already strong but unholy passion that wants to persuade Him to bring me pleasure now on my terms. So God tells me in Zechariah to believe what I do not see, that a good plan is unfolding and the Love story is continuing. God I must confess, that I am blind, and sometimes I JUST DON"T SEE IT. I struggle to see the sheer goodness of His plan. A plan that flows from a pure heart. But He still tells me to wait hopefully. So what do I feel now, I feel hopeful and discouraged, expectant and impatient, warmed by God's love and beaten down by His wrath. The battle goes on. I want to know God, to follow Him, to be His servant, His friend. He has promised to make all things new. God has awakened me to the realization that this world as it is now is not my home and I am not who He wants me to be. As I take this leap from the Old Testament to the New my discouragement yields to hope, my impatience gives way to expectancy, and a new life arises out of death. As I open my Bible to Matthew, I do so with glad surrender. He has heard my cry for mercy, He has come to build His kingdom in me, and in this world. Hope stirs with me. He move towards me, slowly and purposefully. With a smile, with hope and with eyes filled with love. He gently rests His right hand on my forehead. He looks me directly in the eye, with holy fire and a quiet love, His eyes and His lips move. He is about to speak. Let me listen. I am ready to hear.

A Place to Build an Altar and 'Remember'!

February 15, 2010, marked the date of my "Life Plan Facilitation" by Kem Stickl. She walked me through what would be a crossroads in my life - another milestone, a place to build an altar and "remember." Prior to this day, the Lord had been taking me down the road of "what if?" and "would you go if I asked?", forcing me to look at my life without any claim to it. Surrender is a scary thing when the things that you cling to are most precious to your heart. In preparation for the experience, the Lord led me to read "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, teaching me again that His heart...His plan...His ways are trustworthy. And to my delight, He later revealed that those things that are deep in the recesses of my heart are what HE placed there...that He's not asking me to deny who He created me to be, just to relinquish control over that destiny. Who I am is so UNIQUE - and He KNOWS me so intimately. And what is best of all is that He DELIGHTS in the details of who I am. What I value, where I am strong, where I am weak, what I dream of, what I am passionate about, where my gifts are....He chose them all and implanted them into my heart. And they are there to stay...to be cultivated and pruned and given room to blossom. But the only person who can stop the work that the Lord has begun is ME. Without my hands lifted high in sweet surrender to Him, I will forever be frustrated in my purpose...frustrated in my plans...frustrated in my effectiveness for the Kingdom of God. He did not design this life for us to be in control. He designed it so that we might hang on and enjoy the ride....a romantic ride off into the sunset to the point of no return. "You are my workmanship...my precious masterpiece....do you now understand that what I want is YOU?"

Jeremiah 29:13 states "Then you will seek Me, inquire for and require Me (as a vital necessity) and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."

My mission is, through RELATIONSHIPS, to AFFIRM and ILLUMINATE His TRUTH to those around me, and to EQUIP and INSPIRE people to be everything they were created to be. May this mission daily be given back to You for Your plans, Your purposes, Your unending glory!!!

Living in the bigger story

If the greatest desire of our heart is to know Him more intimately and love Him more dearly, we would bow to worship Him with the surrendered actions of our lives, fulfilling the incomparable destiny that He assigned to us before we were born. Our lives are actually a part of a larger story. Everything we do from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Everything that happens to us, wonderful, terrible and everything in between. We have the privilege of joining the larger story and experience the joy of watching that story move forward. The older I get, the more I believe that a larger story a really good one, one that is being told right now in the middle of whatever mix of good or bad is going on in each one of our smaller stories. Through our limited perspectives we can change the plot to accommodate how we want our lives to turn out. We can tweak our understanding of the meaning of life to accommodate our heart felt desires. We can live in a quick-fix, feel-better, make-life-for-us, we-want-it-now-and-we-are-entitled-to-have-it-now culture. If you assume that Christianity means satisfaction in this life of all your desires, including the ones that lie deep within your heart, then you live as no person was really meant to live. We live for satisfaction, We feel entitled to it. Or we can live for true intimacy, respect, fullness, and contentment.

So what is the bigger picture? What kind of person do I want to be, for my kids, my friends, for me, for God? What values do I want to hold true to? What matters the most to me at any cost? What is my life really all about right now, and what fire is still burning in me that can keep me moving toward something truly good? What difference does the sure hope of heaven make right now on my attitudes, passions, and choices? What can I do to make my life better? What story is my life telling?

Life is hard. It will never be as good as we hoped it would be. But what story should we tell with our lives? If there is a good story to tell, one that give us solid hope through bad times that good times that lie ahead, and one that releases us to live with joy and purpose now. If we focus on the smaller story of life from our natural birth to our natural death, than we will miss out on everything that truly matters.

The Bigger story is told in the Bible. The Master Storyteller tells His story, and when you hear it, a shift begins to happen in the center of your heart. You can pause in the middle of a incredible blessing or in the midst of a terrible trial, or maybe just in everyday life and say "So this is what life is about." Husbands and wives can understand how the story relates to them in a different way that aims you toward different goals. Professional people will define their success differently. People will illness will view their diseases differently, face disability or death differently. Everything we formerly called a disaster we can now see as a painful but strangely welcomed opportunity to tell more of His story, not because we have to but because we get to.

I am discovering that the more I long to hear what God is saying in the Bigger story, the more I get to know God and realize that it is the call of a lover inviting me into His story and that my very life is a part of it! It may be only a small part, but the part we play matters. It matters a lot. Therefore we need to know and understand the Story, the plot and the ending, so we can flow with it. The key to living this good life, that is available to each of us now is to join in God's story, to see life as He sees it and to learn to live it as he wants us to live. But first we must know it. We must hear it. We need to hear the Master Storyteller tell His story.

I want to weave the many truths revealed in the Bible into the one true story that I have been invited into. I want to be a bridge builder. To connect people not only to one another, but to God and His big story. I want to invite others to join in the greatest love story ever told. If you hear it I will guarantee you will want to be a part of it. This story might just ring true for you as it has for me. It's a story that will take you deeper than you ever wanted to go and lift you higher that you ever imagined you could go. It is a story that gives power not to give you everything that you may want in this world but it transforms the little story of your life and changes it into part of a meaningful and wonderful larger story that is the only one worth telling until we wait for the satisfaction of every desire in the next chapter when we get to meet the Storyteller, when everything will become clear and it will all make sense.

As you read, underline sentences that may jump out to you. You may identify with doubts and struggles and longings. Ask God to speak to you. I pray that you will feel drawn to the story God is telling. Listen to the story unfold, one chapter at a time. Perhaps your only responsibility is to believe that He can speak, and that He is speaking right now. Maybe your only part is to listen. Lord, Show me! Speak to me! I am all eyes and ears. I am seeking to know You. Let me see You. Let me hear You. May the Truth flame burn bright. Woo me into Your arms. Lord, I want to know Your story. I want to be a part of Your story. I want to feel passion about Your story. I want to become the person I was meant to be. I want to live in a new way of the Spirit, in new way that values what You value. That loving others above everything else, that puts You first and all else second. Help me to join You in telling Your story.

Thanksliving

The older I get, the more I think I could write a list about a mile long of everything I am thankful for. I would start by thanking the Lord for the people who love me and challenge me to live life to the fullest, the trials that come as a result of living in this fallen world that only teach me to cling more tightly to my faithful God, the opportunity to grasp how high and wide and long and deep is the love of Christ and to know that His loving sacrifice raised me to life.

Good health, physical provisions, my wonderful husband and my amazing children would be high on the list, not to mention life lessons, music, waterfalls, daily mercies, my church family, laughter, sunshine, and my amazing friendships. I could go on, but you get the idea.

The more I live, the more I realize this simple truth: everything I have was given to me. I did not achieve it, I did not will it into being, I had nothing to do with it's existence in my life. James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." Everything we possess in any capacity has been given to us by a good God who loves to give good gifts to His children. And He is an extravagant giver. All we have to do is receive.

My challenge to each of us this Thanksgiving is that we would take it a step further, that we would respond to the generosity of our God by giving of ourselves. Showing the same mercy to others that God has shown to us. Offering ourselves as a living sacrifice as Jesus offered Himself as the ultimate sacrifice. Lavishing blessing as we have been lavished upon. Loving as we have been loved. Giving thanks not just with our lips but with our very lives. ThanksLiving. How about it? Happy Thanksliving, everyone.

20/20 vision

Five years ago I had laser surgery on my eyes. I can't tell you how exciting it was to wake up in the morning and be able to see before I even got out of bed. Having worn glasses and contacts for nearly twenty-five years, I found a new found freedom in sight. I can't help but think about the blind man that Jesus healed. How exciting, yet shocking those first few moments of vision must have been. When darkness became light, when shadows became objects, when colors and shapes took on new forms. Jesus talked many times about the issue of sightedness. He called the Pharisees "blind guides." He told them that because they claimed to see, but chose not to, their sin would remain. I love when Jesus repeated says "to those who have eyes, see, and to those who have ears, hear." Sight is a gift. But true vision must be trained. That is what Jesus meant when He said, "You have eyes, yet still do not see" Mark 8:18 What if each of us could take training to see into the human heart? What if we could view situations before us with the eyes of God. When have you not seen a situation clearly, and later found out how blind you were? What are we doing now to correct our vision? What situation do you wish you could see more clearly? In Eph it says "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you..." Dear Lord, I look at the world through a dark and dim vision. I see only in one or two dimensions. My perceptions are limited at best, and filtered through prejudices. Open my eyes. Open my heart. Open my mind. Give me Your eyes that truly see.

Relationship

There's one sad truth in life I've found
while journeying east and west--
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best. ---Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The power of human need is probably one of the most unmet mystery in the human race. I believe that deep down inside us is an emptiness that burns beyond anything we can comprehend, or understand. In fact, I believe without that need people would never come to a place of salvation. But the problem is we look in all the wrong places. "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus" Phil 4:19 Therefore: There should not be a needy one among us.
We have been created for relationship. Because of pain, exhaustion, and burnout we have allow our frustrations to be directed to the ones that are closest to us. We shut down, and stop communicating. We no longer feel connected to those around us, and we begin to not care about nurturing those relationships that God has placed in our lives. Resentment and bitterness can fester, and we just give up and resign to the fact that the relationship is not worth the effort. It takes intentionality on our part to bring back balance into the relationship and strive for peace and unity. Many people are just too exhausted to seek out social as well as family connections. Isolation is unhealthy. We were made for each other, satan knows we are vulnerable in this area. God created community. Our part is to become more available, and participate socially by taking steps to improve our communication skills. We need to invest time in peoples lives.
One our our greatest calling should be to encourage, and pray for those in vocational ministry. We should communicate how much we value all they do. Pastors are real people with real problems, facing daily challenges that everyone else faces. (even more, cause they deal with everyone else's problems) People find security in authenticity. We need to be that person who comes along side as a friend to encourage, support, and remind us who
God created us to be. Relationships are vital in ministry; they are needed in everyday life. I believe we are called to be committed to one another as believers in order to experience true dynamic faith. Finding authentic relationships and community will engage others in the true biblical life changing relationship with Jesus.


always stay connected to the ones you love...JUST BECAUSE

My Life-Plan

Beginning, with the end in mind. “finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me” Acts 20:24 “Then He added, “Every teacher of religious law who becomes a disciple in the Kingdom of Heaven is like a homeowner who brings from his storeroom new gems of truth as well as old” Matthew 13:52 is my life verse. It reminds me that I have the balance of three wonderful privileges, learning God’s Word, as a life-long learner, Obeying God’s Word, as a adopted Child of the King, His disciple and sharing God’s Word, as the homeowner who brings forth from his storeroom new gems of Truth as well as the old.

The teacher or scribes were people dedicated to preserving and proclaiming God’s Truth, Ezra 7:10. Eph 1:16-23 “I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under His feet and appointed Him to be head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills every thing in every way.” I desire and long to be a diligent student of the Word, not like the scribes; “Woe to you experts in the law,” “because you have taken away the key to knowledge” Luke 11:52 “I want to know Him better” I want to know and see Jesus, and I want others to know Him better. I desire to be a life-long learner and teacher.

According to my life verse, we are also supposed to become disciples. The truth that we learn must be the truth that we live. Disciples learn, not just by listening, they learn by obeying. We must practice what we have been taught. James 1:22 “Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” Be imitators of the Word. We don’t really “know” a truth until we have put it into practice. Success means becoming who God wants us to be. 2 Cor 12:9 “Your work is to be faithfully devoted to Him.” I define success as being a fully devoted flawed follower of Christ, a work in progress.

It is not just the arrival at a destination, but also the journey it took to get there. Real success starts right now, and it continues every day that you live. It is in the day-to-day decisions that you make. Every area of your life must belong to Him.

The image of the householder isn’t too difficult to understand. “Therefore, share what you know with others.” Luke 6:38 We can’t give to others what we don’t have ourselves, but if we don’t share it, we won’t retain it. We keep truth by obeying it and then teaching it to others. “give and it will be given to you.” The new grows out of the old. Jesus didn’t come to destroy the old but to fulfill it. In the kingdom of God, the newness comes, by renewing and transforming of the old. This is what makes becoming a disciple interesting, challenging, and exciting. Eccl 3:5 Solomon writes: “Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before” Few things thrill me more as I learn and grow is when I find new combinations of spiritual truths, together with relevant ways to communicate that truth.

This is why I have chosen Matthew 13:52 as my life verse. I want to be a bridge builder between the never changing spiritual truths of the past by communicating in relevant ways to impact the present, to prepare this next generation for the things to come. I want to be a modern day Ezra who “devoted himself to the study, and disciple of the Law of the Lord, by teaching, connecting and communicating spiritual truths.

As I begin this process of unpacking my life plan, and I say begin, because I believe it will always be in a rough draft setting because I will be forever adding new and refining the old. Living with the end in Mind. Some people are natural goal-setters and some aren’t. I am convince that one of the reasons we don’t accomplish more for the kingdom of God is because we don’t have any God-ordained goals we are pursuing. Prov 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Vision is a bigger picture perspective. We have to know where we are going in order to know how to get there. As I enter into this new season of life, I needed a time to re-evaluate, re-assess my purpose I realize that all along my calling and purpose has been the same. Revelation: I am a bridge builder. I have always been a bridge builder. Rom 8:28 “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” My past has held the key to unlock the purpose for the future. As I took an intentional walk through the journey of my life it became very clear that from the beginning God planted a passion in my heart to fight for the family. My driving desire to bridge the communication gap between husband and wife, between parent and child and between people and God.
“My purpose calling is to build bridges, to connect, and to communicate truth, by equipping and interceding for the empowerment of families.”